I began to measure things in absence instead of presence.

I began to measure things in absence instead of presence.

Marya Hornbacher

The quote “I began to measure things in absence instead of presence” suggests a shift in focus from what is actually there—people, opportunities, experiences—to what is missing or lacking in life. This perspective highlights a tendency to dwell on voids rather than the fullness of life.

At its core, this idea can reflect feelings of loss, discontentment, or longing. When someone measures their experiences by what they lack (such as love, success, or happiness), it can lead to a sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction. This shift often arises from comparison—with others who seem to have more—or an inner narrative that insists one’s current state isn’t enough.

In today’s world, where social media amplifies comparisons and the notion of “keeping up,” measuring absence instead of presence has become particularly relevant. Many people curate their lives online based on idealized versions that highlight abundance and happiness while masking struggles and shortcomings. This creates an environment where it’s easy for individuals to feel inadequate when they measure their lives against these curated images.

Applying this concept in personal development involves consciously shifting one’s focus back to presence: recognizing and appreciating what one has rather than fixating on what’s missing. Here are some ways this can manifest:

1. **Gratitude Practices**: Regularly reflecting on things you appreciate about your life—your relationships, skills, or achievements—can help cultivate a mindset focused on presence.

2. **Mindfulness**: Engaging fully with the present moment through mindfulness practices helps individuals appreciate their current circumstances without letting worries about absence take over.

3. **Goal Setting with Balance**: While it’s important to strive for growth and improvement, balancing ambition with recognition of existing strengths keeps one grounded and motivated without feeling overwhelmed by perceived absences.

4. **Community Building**: Surrounding oneself with supportive people who celebrate both successes and challenges encourages a culture of abundance rather than deficiency.

5. **Self-Compassion**: Learning not only to acknowledge but also embrace imperfections fosters resilience against feelings stemming from perceived lack or failure.

Ultimately, reframing our perspective—from measuring life by absence towards celebrating presence—can lead us toward greater fulfillment and well-being in both personal development journeys and everyday living.

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