I suppose a child’s first obligation is to become a stranger to his parents.

I suppose a child’s first obligation is to become a stranger to his parents.

Judith Kelman

The quote “I suppose a child’s first obligation is to become a stranger to his parents” suggests that part of growing up involves creating distance from one’s parents. This process is not about rejection or abandonment but rather about developing independence and identity. As children transition into adulthood, they often need to explore the world on their own terms, which may involve questioning parental values, beliefs, and expectations.

This concept can be understood through several layers:

1. **Development of Identity**: In adolescence and young adulthood, individuals seek to define who they are beyond their familial ties. This often includes exploring different interests, forging new relationships, and sometimes challenging parental authority or norms. The idea of becoming a “stranger” reflects the necessity of this exploration—moving away from being solely defined by one’s family.

2. **Establishing Independence**: Becoming estranged in this context can also mean achieving emotional and financial independence from parents. It’s about learning how to make decisions without relying heavily on parental input or guidance, enabling personal growth.

3. **Healthy Boundaries**: Establishing boundaries is critical in any relationship—and parent-child dynamics are no exception. By distancing themselves emotionally during certain stages of life, children learn to set healthy boundaries that foster mutual respect between them and their parents.

4. **Reevaluation of Relationships**: This estrangement allows both parties (the child and the parents) to reevaluate their relationship dynamics over time; it creates space for growth that can lead back toward understanding each other on new terms once independence has been established.

In today’s world—where individualism often takes precedence over collective familial identities—this idea finds relevance in various contexts:

– **Cultural Shifts**: Modern society encourages self-discovery through education, travel, job experiences abroad, or digital connections—all avenues where young people might feel disconnected from their family’s core values while forming new ones.

– **Personal Development**: The theme resonates with concepts like self-actualization in psychology; individuals must break away from past attachments—whether those are familial expectations or societal norms—to reach their full potential.

Applying this concept effectively involves recognizing the balance between respecting one’s roots while actively pursuing personal growth. Practicing open communication with family members during this period can help bridge gaps created by distance while fostering understanding as both sides evolve.

Ultimately, embracing the notion that becoming a “stranger” can be an essential part of maturing may lead not only to stronger individual identities but also healthier relationships when reconnections occur later down the line—with mutual respect for each other’s journeys.

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