In connection with death, or birth, or love, modesty is only a rather puerile self-consciousness.

In connection with death, or birth, or love, modesty is only a rather puerile self-consciousness.

Margaret Deland

The quote suggests that when it comes to profound life experiences—such as death, birth, and love—modesty can often be a superficial or immature form of self-consciousness. In this context, modesty might refer to a reluctance to express oneself openly or fully engage with deep emotions. Instead of embracing the intensity and significance of these experiences, modesty may cause individuals to hold back their true feelings or thoughts out of concern for how they might be perceived by others.

This perspective implies that genuine engagement with life’s major moments should transcend modesty; rather than being tied up in self-awareness and hesitation, people should allow themselves to feel deeply and authentically. For instance, in the face of love, expressing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections; during times of grief or joy (like birth), openly sharing emotions can foster community support rather than isolation.

In today’s world, where social media often encourages curated representations of life that may prioritize appearance over authenticity, this idea becomes particularly relevant. Many individuals grapple with presenting their “best selves,” potentially sacrificing genuine expression for fear of judgment. In personal development contexts—whether through therapy, self-reflection practices like journaling or meditation, or relationship-building exercises—the emphasis on embracing one’s truths about love and loss allows for more meaningful interactions and healing processes.

Applying this concept involves encouraging oneself—and others—to confront emotions head-on without the veil of modesty. This could mean being open about struggles with grief instead of downplaying them due to societal expectations about how one “should” respond. It also means celebrating love openly without fear of appearing too emotional or vulnerable.

Ultimately, shedding excessive modesty allows individuals not just to experience life more richly but also helps create an environment where communal support thrives—a space where people feel safe sharing their authentic selves in all their complexity.

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