The quote “It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship” suggests that maintaining friendships requires a level of gentleness, courtesy, and tact. Just as oil reduces friction in machinery, politeness can ease interactions and help prevent misunderstandings or conflicts between friends.
At its core, this idea emphasizes the importance of treating friends with respect and kindness. In friendships—like any relationship—there can be tensions due to differing personalities, opinions, or life circumstances. Politeness serves as a lubricant that helps smooth over these potential sources of friction. It allows for open communication without escalating disagreements or creating resentment.
In today’s world, where social media often shapes how we interact with others, this concept is especially relevant. Online discussions can become heated quickly due to the anonymity and distance provided by screens; applying “the oil of refined politeness” might mean carefully considering our words before posting comments or reacting emotionally in conversations. This approach fosters healthier discussions and deeper connections.
From a personal development perspective, cultivating refined politeness in friendships can lead to stronger relationships overall. Practicing active listening—truly hearing what a friend says—and responding with empathy are forms of polite engagement that affirm their feelings and perspectives. This not only enhances mutual understanding but also builds trust within the friendship.
Additionally, being polite doesn’t mean suppressing honest thoughts or feelings; rather, it’s about expressing them thoughtfully and respectfully. For example: instead of bluntly critiquing a friend’s decision, one could frame feedback more gently by acknowledging their intentions first.
In summary, applying the “oil” of refined politeness in friendships encourages smoother interactions by reducing conflict while promoting understanding and connection—a valuable principle for nurturing relationships both online and offline today.
