You never get over it, but you get to where it doesn't bother you so much.
You never get over it, but you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much.

You never get over it, but you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much.

Jeffrey Eugenides

The quote “You never get over it, but you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much” speaks to the enduring nature of grief or trauma and the process of healing. It suggests that certain painful experiences—whether they are losses, heartbreaks, or traumatic events—do not simply vanish with time; instead, they become integrated into our lives. The idea is that while we learn to manage our feelings about these experiences, their impact may remain a part of us.

From a psychological perspective, this aligns with concepts like post-traumatic growth and resilience. Individuals who face significant challenges often find that while the pain does not completely disappear, their ability to cope improves over time. This transformation might include developing new coping strategies, gaining insights about themselves and others, and finding meaning in their experiences.

In today’s world—where mental health awareness is growing—the concept can be particularly relevant. Many people experience various forms of distress: loss due to death or separation, job changes leading to identity crises, or societal challenges like those posed by global health crises. Instead of expecting a quick return to normalcy after such events (which can lead to disappointment), acknowledging that healing takes time allows for more realistic expectations.

On a personal development level, this idea encourages individuals not just to seek closure but also acceptance. Acceptance involves recognizing feelings without judgment and understanding that it’s okay for certain memories or emotions related to past traumas still to evoke strong reactions at times. This mindset fosters self-compassion; rather than forcing oneself into an unrealistic state of “overcoming,” one learns patience with personal progress.

Practically applying this notion could involve engaging in reflective practices such as journaling about one’s feelings or seeking support through therapy and conversation groups where shared experiences help normalize individual struggles. Mindfulness techniques can also assist in learning how to sit with discomfort without being overwhelmed by it—a skill essential for navigating complex emotions tied deeply into our lived experiences.

Ultimately, embracing the sentiment behind the quote allows individuals not only room for growth amid adversity but also cultivates empathy toward others facing similar battles—a vital element in fostering community resilience in today’s interconnected world.

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